It’s a chilly Edmonton evening. The sky is a dark grey as clouds conceal the moon from shining down on us mortals as we tap away on our laptops. The mood is somber and I am wishing it would change. Tap away I do, searching the inner depths for something positive. I’ll go for a run to change my mood, it is not raining yet and travelling here on business has left me with nothing but time.
Mile one rolls by with not much of a thought, the streets are a dark mocha brown from all the sand and gravel that has been laid down over top on the rippled icy surface. It feels like cobblestones beneath my feet and still I run.
Mile two passes beneath my feet and to myself I think about the adoption. How long it seems to have gone on, I no longer count the months because this does nothing to improve the mood. I’m listening to my iPod but barely acknowledge the words as my mind drifts in and out of the waiting. The surface turns to hard packed snow. There is a groove where people tread down the center of the path. It may have been safer during the day but it has become slick at night as the miles go by.
Mile three and four go by I’m feeling my groove. That point where my solace takes a quantum leap into effortlessness. I fast forward to travelling to a far off land exploring the culture, the people, and the places but most of all holding my daughter for the very first time. Fast forward even more to our daughter’s first steps, the first time we hear momma and dada. The blues are blowing away beneath my feet.
Mile five, she’s crying now why is she crying? Is she hungry? Is she wet? Is she scared? There, there little one I’m here now. The trail ends I had better turn around. The moon is chasing away the clouds and lights up the trail. There is old snow on the ground that has turned to glass. It glistens in the moonlight.
Mile six, hey I was running uphill I hardly noticed. I have to put up that baby gate when I get home. Man alive we bought a lot of gear that we had years ago. I can just picture her little face pressed against that baby gate saying “hey I want ot go down there!” “No honey it is too dangerous.” Runners cross paths in the night. They are out for a run with their running stroller. How cool is that.
Mile seven, the river looks beautiful in its frozen blanket. A flat white sheet covers the mighty North Saskatchewan River. It divides this city in half as it meanders slowly through the metropolis.
Mile eight, I still have lots to do before we leave. Lots of work at work and at home but still I would leave in a moments notice. In my mind, I picture her sleeping now, she’s seem content. I wonder if she sleeps through the night? We will soon see. I wonder if she likes dogs? We will soon see.
Mile nine, I see the lights of the city. I am running along the major roads now. Stereos are blaring, people are honking their horns and in the distance I hear the faint sound of someone’s car alarm.
Mile ten, the home stretch I’m better now I have made peace with the universe. The problems of today melted away beneath my feet and back to where they came from. And with it another blog post. Thanks for reading. Relentless forward motion.
3 weeks ago