So why don’t you blog more? The question hits me like a descending cloud fogging up my thoughts to the point where I can’t surmise an adequate answer. I love to express my thoughts in blogs. I love to put it out there to cyberworld for all to see. It’s a lot like fishing really. You cast out a thought, some more personal then others or you share a piece of your life and you see what you get. Sometimes you get a nibble and sometimes you get a bite. I would say that’s really what it is all about. The comments that you get back from the people who read your blog somehow give you a feeling of validation.
In Facebook, you can write a little blurb like a mini blog on your status section. Depending on how many friends you have they will be forced to read it on their own news feed. Some will comment back and now you have the ability to simply click the ‘Likes this” button. Either way it becomes instant validation to your rambling thoughts. I think Facebook has diffused a lot of peoples urge to blog in that they no longer need paragraph after paragraph to elaborate on a thought. They can write a mini blog in their status and get the validation they need.
But for me that’s not the reason why I don’t blog. I guess if what really important I would find time. It can take me hours to write one post. Well maybe not hours but at least an hour. For example I’m writing this one on the train into Vancouver a trip that takes just over an hour.
I think for me it’s that loss of validation. I don’t get anything from it. I know a few people who read my blog. I’ve seen the “Hits” on my counter. They don’t comment and somehow maybe I think they are just storing up the accumulated information into my psyche to use later for public ridicule. Whatever the case there is a certain amount of catharsis from these posts and that’s my only solace. So I write for myself.
There maybe some truth to the fact that I have no time. I remember back when we were anticipating Kallie’s arrival and the journey to get her I would blog late at night well past my bedtime but that would come after a comment from Jenny “Have you blogged lately?” These days I get home from work chase after Kallie, do the dishes, follow up on some work, read my emails (I don’t get access during the day), post some emails, put Kallie to bed. The list goes on and on. But there is time to catch up on Facebook or some of my on line training logs but that is it. The accumulated free time is about an hour but not one hour continuous. After that it is usually bedtime.
I use to podcast. I loved podcasting because I would record on my runs. My runs would be about and hour and I would talk the whole time into my little digital recorder. It’s amazing how clear your thoughts flow when you run. You would think that they would be an hour of rambling but I usually chose a topic that interested me, research it and then share it into the microphone. Nobody else was out on the street and it was typically early morning. But I would post it once a week and every week I would get at least one comment sometimes a dozen comments back. So the next run out I actually felt like I was running with someone. Suddenly I had a running friend who would meet with me every morning on my terms.
I quit podcasting months ago, lack of time, and other commitments, whatever, long before Kallie came home and not a run goes by where I don’t miss my running friend. Like a real running friend podcasting would get me through those lulls those ‘canyons of funk’ that sap your positive energy. I still take my digital recorder out with me and voice my opinions only to erase it forever after the run. Sometimes I feel better but usually I think “What am I doing?” This feeling of despair ensues.